Onion

The Verdict 🐾

Attention, esteemed humans and fellow felines! After thorough scrutiny of the bulbous beast known as the onion, I, Dr. Mittens, must declare it a definite no-go. Yes, you heard it right—this supposedly "flavorful" plant is toxic to us cats. My paws do not approve of this pungent perpetrator.

The Taste Test

Now, one might wonder why a curious kitty might even consider munching on this bulbous foe. Perhaps it resembles a tantalizing toy, all round and shiny, just waiting to be pawed at. Or maybe it wiggles enticingly when you toss it around—who can resist a good chase? However, dear humans, let me enlighten you: it’s not a toy, and it certainly doesn’t come with catnip!

The Puke Factor

Should a feline companion dare to nibble on this forbidden bulb, the results could be catastrophic! Symptoms may include the rapid expulsion of lunch, a delightful orchestra of gurgles, and the dreaded parade of hairballs. In some cases, we might also experience an unexpected case of the “I Just Can’t Even,” which is our way of saying, “Why did I ever think this was a good idea?”

Human Instructions

To all my human servants out there: heed my warning—banish this green invader from your homes! Do not let it sully the sacred space where we rule. The only thing this onion should be slicing is a one-way ticket out of your kitchen!