Collard Greens: A Cat's Guide to the Leafy Green Intruder

The Verdict 🐾

After extensive research (and a few cheeky nibbles), I, Dr. Mittens, hereby declare Collard greens safe for your human companions. Yes, that’s right! These greens won’t turn your dear human into a pumpkin or send them on a wild chase for the nearest vet. I approve, but don’t expect me to join in on the salad party anytime soon.

The Taste Test

Now, let’s get down to the real question—why would a sophisticated feline like myself even entertain the idea of nibbling on these leafy greens? Perhaps it’s the way they flutter tantalizingly in the breeze, resembling a feathery toy. Or maybe it’s the sheer audacity of humans eating something that looks so much like my favorite scratching post! Who wouldn’t want to give it a taste? It’s practically an invitation!

The Puke Factor

Fear not, dear humans! Should you accidentally leave a Collard leaf unattended and I decide to engage in a culinary experiment, the symptoms of my potential indulgence would be minimal. A mere rapid expulsion of lunch could occur, but really, what’s a little drama in the name of science? Consider it my way of keeping you on your toes!

Human Instructions

For you, my beloved human servants, I recommend you allow this to remain in your kitchen. Collards are not a threat! But remember, just because it’s safe doesn’t mean I’ll appreciate it on my plate. More tuna, less greens, please!