Chard

The Verdict 🐾

Ah, my dear humans, gather 'round! I, Dr. Mittens, have thoroughly examined the leafy wonder known as chard. After extensive research (mostly involving my own personal taste test), I can confidently declare it safe for your consumption. Yes, you heard that right—chard is non-toxic! You may carry on munching, but please don’t think this gives you license to ignore my superior dietary preferences.

The Taste Test

Now, one might ponder: why would a refined feline like myself be attracted to this leafy green? Well, humans, chard has a vibrant, crinkly appearance that might resemble an enticing piece of catnip... or perhaps a wiggly toy! With its colorful ribs—like the fanciful tail of a peacock—one could easily mistake it for something that’s just begging to be pounced on. But let’s be honest, I’m more interested in the aforementioned catnip.

The Puke Factor

Should a curious kitty decide to indulge in the green goodness of chard, fear not! I must assure you that the repercussions are rather mild. Unlike those troublesome toxic plants, indulging in a nibble of this leafy delight may lead to a rapid expulsion of lunch, but nothing more catastrophic. Expect a minor, albeit dramatic, display of “Why did I eat that?” followed by a swift retreat to the nearest sunny spot for recovery.

Human Instructions

To my beloved human servants, I bestow this advice: allow this leafy green to remain in your kitchen. It poses no threat to your feline overlords. However, if I catch you trying to serve it to me on a plate, I will have to reconsider my opinion on your culinary skills!